Forty-Four: The Peace I Earned
The Light I Wanted Seen Moving into adulthood with abandonment and rejection wounds played a quiet but powerful role in my misery. At the time, I wouldn’t have called it trauma. I just thought I wanted to be seen. I thought if people could recognize my heart, my loyalty, my willingness to show up, then maybe I’d finally feel secure. What I didn’t realize then was that security had to start with me. Because the truth is, I didn’t fully know who I was or honestly who I wanted to become. I was searching for identity through connection, trying to find myself in how others experienced me. What I also didn’t understand was the value I already carried, so I stayed. I stayed in relationships where my worth was measured by what I could do, how much I could carry, and how convenient my love felt to the people receiving it. I remember being the one with the car, the one everyone called. I burned myself out making sure everyone got where they needed to be, showing up and coming through, proving my...